I want to vent about today.
I really have no reason to be upset. I stand on the foundation of years of self-betrayals and little victories.
What the fuck is a little victory anyhow?
Maybe it's those tiny moments that expose our humanity and make us vulnerable to a world that sees such ways as weakness.
To feel anything is to be alive. To be alive is to seek things that numb our pain, in essence, eliminating our humanity.
And around and around we go.
Human beings crave melodrama. If we can't find it in our own lives, or, let's be more honest here, if we are afraid to create conflict, even if that conflict facilitates growth, we seek it out in our movies, our music, our gossip, our surroundings.
But for the love of God, don't be the one to speak freely.
We sit at the age of open and free information and surround ourselves with echo chambers.
To disagree with someone now means you are telling them that they, for having these beliefs, are wrong. They are bad people.
What a complete and utter crock of bullshit.
People have forgotten how to discern belief from self.
Does a set of abstract beliefs make up the core of a human being?
Is it our moral compass, that is another set of beliefs, that make up who we are?
Have we made our beliefs so discernible from facts that we can no longer understand who we are?
We all are marching to our graves. One day, one step. Some find themselves arriving at their demise earlier than others.
Is it what we believed that is remembered? Is it what we do that we are remembered for?
For so many now we are on a justified crusade. Shout from our social media platforms what it is we believe.
Create a dialogue. HA! Not really, get your check in the boxes that tell you that your belief is good and holy.
Then field debates between individuals who are entrenched in beliefs that will not change.
I have found my ignorance wasn't cured until I actively participated in life. Meeting new people. Traveling to new places. Trying new things. Debating from the side I didn't agree with, just to help me understand others. It worked a lot.
I have found myself to be a fluid person. I have changed my mind on issues and topics a lot in my life.
I've noticed that people who do so are attacked instead of praised. Flip-flopper. Indecisive.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Learning and allowing yourself to be open to new ideas and concepts. Understanding those we don't agree with. These are things to be celebrated.
If you can look back to 10 years ago and still have the same beliefs, you need to open your mind. Open the circle of people you surround yourself with. Travel to a new place.
We need to open our hearts. We are hardened. We will not allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
We are a society that is becoming more polarized, more extreme, day-by-day.
And when we begin to eliminate dissent, then we are only assured of our beliefs. We become more entrenched than ever.
Alan Arkin, the actor and director, did a great job of putting this concept into words:
"I don't know why we have to put things in boxes of superlatives. That isolates them. Life is fluid, and the minute you start trying to put a line around something, it will deceive you and go away."
It's time that we humble ourselves, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and we set out for a new adventure. One that allows for growth and progress.
Once something stops growing, it ceases it's pursuit of life and begins to die.
I hope to be someone else tomorrow. And in a decade I hope to look back on these words and have a different understanding of what they mean.
Like when you revisit one of your favorite books and a character that you identified with seems like a stranger and you find comfort in the words of others in the work.
Life is a blank page. Silence. A blank canvas.
It is waiting for us to add. Not to continue to sing the same songs, but write new ones.
Not to trace the same lines, but expand the painting.
Not to rewrite history, but to create it.
To change is to be human. To learn is love. To grow is live.